M. and I are at the zoo. Things are going fine. We decide to eat our sandwich first thing after arriving. I'm thinking lets get fueled up before we dig into the real fun. The cafe at San Francisco zoo overlooks the flamingos and has always been a favorite spot for us to eat. We sit down on a bench, and I unwrap our turkey cheddar on light rye. I notice very big seagulls are hanging around the area, but that happens every time we are there, and the zoo is across the street from the ocean so it does not seem weird. But, a two year old girl comes walking over towards the flamingos and a seagull swipes the bread right our of her hand. She is shocked, starts crying, and her grandmother runs over scoops her up. It starts to focus on us, the closest people to it with food. It is sitting about 3 feet from me, staring us down. I am doing the odds in my mind whether it might really try to grab food out of our hands, but I am no two year old and I am sitting next to M. so I think we are safe. Still, I go on cautious alert. I am not giving up my scenic bench spot because some seagull is giving me the evil eye. About 5 seconds later the seagull is dive-bombing me from above going in for the strike. I scream, and throw my arms up to shield it from grabbing my food. I am up in an instant, grabbing M's hand realizing this is causing an instant scene, and all the other people sitting outside the cafe are turning around to see what is happening. While we are trying to make it inside the cafe the same seagull swoops in, grabbing M's sandwich out of her hand and we get swarmed by about 1o gulls. She starts crying, and I am focused on just getting us inside the cafe. Inside she is talking really loudly trying to process what has happened which consisted mostly of "STUPID SEAGULLS MOMMY!!" over and over again and I am trying to calm her down and compensate for the fact that our lunch has been hijacked. Soon we are sitting at the table eating french fries and she is commenting that all the people outside she can see from our table are getting attacked just like we just did, which they were not. "Look mommy, see that lady, she is coming inside because the seagulls stole her lunch too." I have had enough of the cafe at this point and we start our walking towards the children's zoo. She looks over at me, and says "Mommy, did you notice I said stupid?" I say "you mean about the seagulls honey?"
"Yes Mommy, I said stupid instead of saying fuck, shit or dammit like you do!"